I'm 40. To me that's a big deal. I've lived longer than my Dad, by quite a bit. Anyone who's lost their father while a youth can appreciate what that means - kind of a mental Everest for me in some respects. I want to live another 80 years. I have a lot to do.
40. People ask me what it feels like. I wish I could say something profound and life changing, but the fact is, I wake up being me, feeling like me pretty much every day (wait, every single day) and nothing is really that different as far as feelings go.
I approached 40 for 39 years, and that approach has very slowly and deliberately changed the way I see and think about a lot of things - and maybe that's what people are lurching at when they ask me how it feels.
So what's changed?
I still love peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches - except to share one with my Dad, Will and his boys, James and Milo, Eli, Korben and Kieffer.
If I get the chance to watch a UFC fight with Elle, done and done. Nobody yells louder when someone is tapping out to a rear naked choke.
I would give anything to eat a rhubarb pie made by Grandma Sharp with Grandpa Sharp while he tells me about his work day.
If I watch a football game, let it be with Eli at my side and me explaining what a cover four defense looks like and why they audible.
I miss skiing, but when I go again, I want Rachael to teach me how to snowboard. When I hunt again, I want Eli to keep my stride just I did Dad's, and I hope that I am as good a marksman as my Aunt Mary Beth.
I'd like to tell you that I don't much care what people think, but I do, it just doesn't matter if they are thinking about me so much as they are thinking about doing whats right. If that involves me then all the better.
I have new friends, and old friends and some friends that are older than I am - and I love all of them very much.
If I could do it all over again, I would, so long as Jamie could be there with me. I would only play more football, eat more pie, read more books, laugh harder, and find more ways to draw closer to my Father in Heaven.
And on my 2nd 40th birthday, more guitars, more friends, more hot wings, more fire, more laughter, more singing and dancing...more cow bell.
These are days.
2 comments:
Happy Birthday Jarret! Congrats on 40. :-)
I hear ya on the eating more pie and reading more books. That is a goal of mine, too.
We love you.
One can never eat enough pie or read enough books! I like to eat pie while I read. I like to eat anything while I read! And just so you know - I skied after I turned 40 and it was still sensational! Not quite as fast as when I was 16 - but all the more invigorating. Life just keeps getting better. And the older we get, the more we appreciate it. And the more we know where the good things in life come from!
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