Wednesday, July 8, 2009

This just in...

Congress Blasts 'Outrageous' Security Breaches at Nation's Federal Buildings
The Government Accountability Office released a report detailing how investigators carried liquid bomb-making materials past security at 10 federal buildings in 10 cities. - Fox News Report

Seriously...

...yet as our children face pornography, immorality, gender blending, drugs, ethics violations and theft of tax payer dollars on a daily basis...

...Congress remains eerily silent on these matters.

I believe that if there's anyone even thinking of running for ANY office - NOW is the time! NOW!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Family Reunions...

UPDATE: My eldest Rachael attended the reunion - what a beauty! A rare and wonderful woman who calls herself my daughter and I glow like a magnesium phos trace round down range on a humid Afghan night, destined for a Taliban dome. My cousin Mike cooks a fine plethora of smörgåsbord, dry-rubbed/smoked meats, pies and the like. Terry can still throw a frozen rope. Dave likes to remind everyone about the time I pooped my pants and I love to tell his kids what a great and wonderful friend he was to me - I know, its a rather lop-sided affair that one, but I still love Dave very much...he saved my life more than once. He really did. James and Abby have the most wonderful children - I love them dearly. Will's kids are my boys. Wendy and Tim bring us to our knees with their children's smiles (sorry for mixing up the boys' names Wendy). And finally...trust your gut when the kids take off running in the gully - thanks for having my back Dad.

This weekend I am missing one to go to one (pregnant pause) I know you all well enough to know that you'll entertain an brief but all the same heartfelt explanation.

I recently returned from the Peoria Arizona Stake Youth Trek, where I was honored to be a Bosen, serving as a big brother to 15 amazing people. You may not know this, but Jessica Alba was a Bosen too. That's right. So was Moxxy Michaun and Mahvelous Miriam and Phather Phil.

I'm told we walked 17 miles, starting at 1:30 pm and ending at 1:30 am. No food. Some drink. At one point, the men were called to serve in the US Army and the women pulled .5 miles up hill. The Bosen girls took that hill like a storm unleashed on a dark night. Even loaning two of ours to another group to help them make the last little bit. Stunning.

I could write a book. I won't. The highlight for me...passing the Sacrament with the Bishops in our Stake. Thank you. Ma and Pa, brothers and sisters, thank you. I'll miss you this weekend, I'm headed north to reunite with the Smith's and Sharp's.

The sum total of who I took on that trek, includes all the people I will see this weekend. I was contemplating the totality of my life to this point and rekindling all those memories in preparation for The Gathering.

The Gathering consists of all the cousins over 40, in lawn chairs, gripping some legal beverage (root beer or lemonade that grandma made) and re-telling old tales with greater emphasis on their role in the story as victor or victim. As a relative outsider, my skills as a raconteur have to be Jordanesque or I could get trampled by larger families who have more influence.

You'll here about the Basalt vs. Aspen football legacy (concussions earned trying to sack my athletic cousin Terry), rappelling, bb gun wars, fires, eggs, pancake eating contests, milk drinking contests, missions, tubing and the occasional stake dance tale as well. Nieces and nephews will marvel at our escapades - legendary in our own minds - now ensconced in theirs.

We'll eat like kings, burn our balding heads, stay up all night playing card games and poking fun at each other. Our wives will snicker and our Mom's will grin when we stretch the tale a bit. When our bellies distend with too much meat and sauce and our breath carries the stench of too many pieces of pie, we'll retire, blessed with charmed lives, graced with youths that belong in the theaters.

When we part, as we did on the Trek, we will all be better for the experience. I reverently declare...

My Life is Brilliant.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Everyone should have one of these...

Last night I awoke (to be perfectly honest it was this morning, early, very very early - to me) to that sound that your kids make when you know they are going to throw up.

Different sounds for different kids - and typically they are still in denial about the actuality of the act - accompanied by a silent whine.

In Elle's case, she waveringly cries out, sniffs, yawns and cough-gags.

I am instantly sitting up - reminiscent of my days as a wrestler when my core responded on command. So I like to think that it is instant, but it probably takes me a few seconds - 10 - to get upright or up right as the case may be.

Jamie calls for The Bowl. A large red popcorn bowl that we use for catching the stomach leavings and depositing them in the main.

So I hurdle the laundry baskets, stacks of books, elliptical and other sundry items - down the hall through the kitchen, pantry (its still dark) fling open the door, snatch the wrong red bowl, put it back, grab the right one and make my way back to the room.

Elle has held her ground quite well, until she sees the bowl, and in a Pavlovian way - she lurches as I hoist her and the bowl away from the bed - and it happens.

So I am holding her, the bowl, her hair and trying to rub her back (she's asking for this in between episodes). The bowl gets a workout. And when she's finished with round three, I ask if she's okay.

"Maybe I can have some Sprite now Dad."

Get yourself a good puke bowl.

Life is brilliant.

Monday, May 18, 2009

When I think of Grandpa

I remember the time he pulled me aside and handed me a silver dollar - 1896 or thereabouts. I have 8 years on the planet at this point in my life. I still have it.

I turn it over in my hands, looking at lady liberty and the ridges on the outside - "Thank you Grandpa." as I heft the weight of it and wonder how much its worth.

Anyway, he says "I used to have stacks of these on my dresser." So I asked him what happened and he looks me in the eye and says, "My children never went hungry and they always had shoes."

I still don't know what the coin is worth - don't care. I'd trade it in for some more days or words.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Bon jour Mom.

Jamie
Mom, Wendy, Amy, Debi, Abby
Grandma Sharp
Myrna MEMom
Grandma Hazel
Grandma Smith
Aunt Cathy
Grannie
Grandma Sievers
Grandma Nancy
Aunt Barbara
Aunt MaryBeth
Aunt Lori
Aunt Marsha
Aunt Nancy
Aunt Suzie
Aunt 'Berta
Kelly
Jayme
Merc
Ms. Hood
Mrs. Artz
Mrs. Grant
Mrs. Wall
Mrs. Comroe...and all the rest...

Happy Mother's Day - May God Bless you and keep you forever.

Friday, May 8, 2009

A perfect storm...

Notice that I don't refer to it as the perfect storm. That's for other men to proclaim.

More on this in a moment, I need to churn my thoughts a bit...

I am an unapologetic Independent. The left side of the aisle has some good, the right side has some as well - and it pains me to say that since I feel as though they abandoned me so long ago. Ditched by the loud-mouth dogmatism of the conservatives.

By declaring publicly that I am independent, over Michael Medved's vocalized judgments, I realize that I stand alone. Frankly, that is when I do some of my best work - so I am fine with island politics.

This storm that is brewing, has my attention. And as a practicing member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I realize that some might be quick to jump to the conclusion that by storm, I mean signs of the times. To that I answer, well, I am not a prophet and moreover, I don't really dwell on the doom of things. My day to day life has enough slings and arrows and I don't really have the time to follow the rantings of Mr. Beck - Mormon or not (apologies to those whom I love dearly who, for their own benefit, worship Mr. Beck). So, signs or no, my storm is mine, I define it as I see it, quite subjectively.

I picked the word storm, because storms allow you to prepare, even if they come quickly. Storms are also temporary, some very damaging, but generally they are necessary to the growth/life-cycle of our planet - of our lives.

What portends this storm? Here are some of MY observations of the skies;

1. President Obama asked to expand the Consumer Product Safety Commission from 3 to 5 members and advanced a request to increase their budget by 55%. The CPSC keeps your kids from eating plastic. I think that it's my job to keep my kids from eating plastic. Not the Executive Branch of a Democratic Republic.

2. Health care reform is right around the corner with sweeping policies that will water down medical school training and establish panels or commissions who will decide on things like whether or not your treatment, age and condition warrant government/health care intervention. I believe it's my job to take care of my body. If, God forbid, I am dying, then I deserve the very best care that I can afford, and the treatments that work - regardless of what big pharma lobbies for legal and safe. There are medicinal practices that have been healing and saving long before the sophists in white coats and black robes gathered together and created a curriculum for job security and certification.

3. What caused the economic downturn was the willingness for good men and women to lie to get things that our parents had to work very hard to earn. And once our parents earned it, they stayed put, made do or did without. They strove to be good people, not to live in what was perceived to be the finest or safest neighborhoods (that was a shot over the bow of the boats that shipped out to a place called Surprise, Arizona). Now that they've been caught in the lie - when I say they - I mean anyone who lied - the Executive and Legislative branches of government have taken it upon themselves to solve it. I believe in correct principles and self-government. I believe that if I decide to cook a grenade when I've been told not to, I will live the consequences. If anyone argues "nobody told them the consequences" I just scratched you off my Christmas list. Nobody told me how to raise my kids, and in spite of how I was raised - maybe in some cases because of - my children are amazing.

4. My great grand children will pay taxes on the expansive nature of our government. Their liberties are being stripped away as their spirits reside with my Father in Heaven. Liberty is most sacred and I believe it is an eternal principle. Here's where I yell...AND WHEN MEN AND WOMEN, PEOPLE IN THE FLESH, PLAN AND IMPLEMENT POLICIES THAT USURP ETERNAL PRINCIPLES THEY ALIGN THEMSELVES WITH AN ORIGINAL PLAN TO MANDATE AND MANIPULATE PEOPLE INTO CHOOSING A PATH THAT THEY OTHERWISE MIGHT NEVER CHOOSE. DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR TO ANYONE - MOST ESPECIALLY MY FELLOW LDS? GOSH! NAPOLEON DYNAMITE GOSH! This means that the present governments, beginning 1918 (see the original Panic leading to a Depression) believe that we - middle-brow citizens - are incapable of walking and chewing gum. They think - they being both parties - that we can't fix this. WRONG ANSWER, THANKS FOR PLAYING, PLEASE RESIGN. We can. Just get out of the way, please. Seriously. Leave. You wicked wicked people - GET OUT.

YOU GOOD GOOD PEOPLE - in the words of the Spartans (yes Dallas, I know a thing or three about Spartans)- GET IN OR GET ON!

I've tried to take the time to think this post through. I realize by speaking out against the present elected officials, my conspiratorial theorist friends warn that my name is on a list. Look, I've been on lists my whole life. Mr. Hayes, former principal at Basalt Elementary can attest to this.

I want to make sure that I don't come off the slightest bit RushBeckiSean. Those permanent residents of Dou#(%@*#!*^an are cacophonous sirens in the moors of conservatism spewing talking points that their ghosts edit for personality. (that was pretty good wasn't it?)

I know that our lives are going to continue to change. I expect my Savior to come sooner rather than later and I look forward to it - I miss Him and I know He will unite us, because He loves us, in a way that will resolve and allow us to create - reach our potential.

A perfect storm is brewing. Please be prepared to love one another, to do battle willingly for these things we hold dear. Most especially for our families, our country, our God and our liberties. Be ready to clean up and move forward. Be obedient Jarret.

I smell rain...don't you love the smell of rain?

Storms are brilliant!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Elder McBride writes...

April 20, 2009

Dad, Jamie, Eli, Elle

How are you all? Is is my P-Day (preparation day) and its the day to write letters so here we are. I got your package today! Thank you sooo much! My first package in the MTC (Missionary Training Center). A much needed package :). I love the mini Preach My Gospel! Its prodigious! All of my district is jealous of it. And the goodies are much appreciated.

To let you know all that is going on here, the work of the Lord is going forth. If is very hard work! When the lights go out here, sleep comes pretty easy haha. We are loosing ourselves in the work if you will. What an honor it is to be missionary. I can't stop looking at my badge, bearing the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. It's great!

I hope all is well in AZ. How is the school? Let my big sisters know I am thinking of them. How are you Eli and Elle? I hope you guys are doing great and behaving. I love all of you. Pray always. Thank you for all of your love and support. The gospel is true!

"Shall we not gon on in so great a cause?"
-Joseph Smith

Love always,

Elder McBride