...down memory lane. I just lectured (and I will beat myself up for it for about a week because those who know E know that he, of all of us, needs no lectures) Eli about the threads of poverty.
He likes to gnaw on his long sleeves, not sure why, he just does. Its getting expensive-looking at replacing the expanded and chewed shirts. We just talked (I talked and he listened) in stern terms about the cost-benefits of replacing shirts vs. chewing on food. It didn't go very well.
Here's why - I remember being financially strapped, like my Mom buying skim milk, halving the gallon into another gallon jug and filling the remainder with water strapped. I remember pacing the blue-light in Kmart for Keds - white canvas and pleather high tops that my Mom would purchase in the half sizes by two's and three's so that when I wore out a pair I'd have another from underneath her bed.
My pals had Avias and Nike Legends. I even paid Skip Larson $5 for his worn out Legends, bought new shoelaces and used my Mom's white shoe polish to work some shine on them.
Anyway, I'd wear out those blue-lighters on purpose, in hopes that I could get something else. As if wearing out stuff made better stuff more accessible. Nobodies ever accused me of thinking things through. That's just how I rolled as a S.T.U.P.I.D 13-year old.
Eli's nothing like me in that regard, or in any regard for that matter - he's in his head enjoying things when I pounce and pull a "I had to walk to school up hill both ways" riggin' fit. He just looks at and nods his head and says "Okay Dad."
I'm such a punk.
Eli's a good person. That pic up there's of him and Sam Grimes. Eli earned both BSA badges associated with a 6 mile hike on the Mormon Battalion Trail near Gila Bend - he's six. He jogged most of it to keep up with the rest of us. He helped cook. He helped clean up. He slept outside. He participate in retiring an American Flag.
My Mom was/is amazing. Grandma Smith taught her how to do what needed to be done - and she did, and I love her for it. I can only imagine what she had to sacrifice to buy me my Dan Gable signature ASIC wrestling shoes.
Eli, chew away. It doesn't matter a lick in the long run. You've already got what matters.
5 comments:
Don't be too hard on yourself. It is near impossible to leave behind life's experiences that have helped influence who we are. To this very day my 83-year-old dad still scrimps and saves and bargain shops for everything, even though he has more monthly income on his retirement than Rod and I do working. And he doesn't even have a house payment or a car payment! He grew up in the depression - slept in a boarded up tent - ate beans many nights (I'm talking pinto beans here) - and took plum sandwiches to school for lunch, wrapped in newspaper. He wore hand-me-downs that had been through several older siblings and cousins. He provided an amazing home for our family, working as many as three jobs at a time, and we never wanted for anything. Mom made use the most beautiful clothing you could imagine. We had a garden, canned food, and always had homemade bread. They taught us how important it is to stay out of debt, to be prudent and frugal. Now that I am older and wiser (well maybe a little) I am finally applying what they tried to teach us in our youth. Eli will learn the lessons you are trying to instill. And he will LOVE you for it. You are such an amazing dad, and I so admire your very sincere love for your family. Sorry to be so long winded. :o)
I'm just trying to imagine you using a "stern" voice, and I'm failing.
I thought it was normal for three kids to share one package or ramen noodles until I was about 13.
I lecture my kids a lot too. Especially now with money being so tight and my fear being so strong. My boys like to put holes in their pant knees and socks. And are they ever hard on shoes, too. Claire is also a clothes chewer. And if there is a loose thread, kids pull, until there is a tiny hole that they stick their fingers in to widen. It is maddening sometimes. And then they have the audacity to grow like weeds, so nothing ever fits right. ;-) I feel your stress Jarret and also think about mom all of the time and wonder how she managed. I learned more from her than I ever realized.
I tried to make a comment earlier- but I had to suscribe to a live feed?
Anyway, mom did sacrifice a lot. I think of that often and feel so blessed to have so much. We are so blessed.
You are teaching Eli well- to appreciate everything and to work hard- no doubt that he will be/is a great kid. And you are a great dad.
The holes in my kids' jeans is what makes me most crazy- even Lucy has holes in her jeans because they have been used with 3 girls. Oh well.
p.s. I am so excited for Korben. I love Spokane. He will be a great missionary.
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